Sunday, June 23, 2013

Orgasm control and release

Orgasm control is an important part of your man's training in a female led relationship. When he truly wants a release but is not allowed, a part of him surrenders to your authority more and more. This only occurs however when there is increased sexual tension without it resulting in his orgasm. That is why I consider teasing and denial an important part of male obedience training. Of course, when you want it, a tease session can always end up with him performing oral service. There is something special about guiding his lips to the right spot with him knowing it means no orgasm (for him of course ;-O ).  Sometimes you can hear a sigh as his lips touch yours and he knows he has no hope of an orgasm.

It is not advisable however to keep him denied forever and an occasional "release" is sometimes needed for medical and/or emotional reasons.  When you allow your man an orgasm, there is some part of him that also feels he is being released from your control. This is alright since being free gives him the chance to return and willingly come back "home" to your loving guidance. This allows him the time to understand just how much he needs your leadership. However, we don't want him to wander too far or for too long.


For a wife practicing male obedience training, you may feel that he is less obedient after orgasm. However, there are some methods to help shorten that window between when you "release" him and when he is back under your wing.

Cleanup

Having him clean up after his orgasm is an important part of his training. First, it brings him back to an obedient mindset just moments after he is "released". It is also quite healthy for him and we should always try to keep him healthy. I prefer to avoid using vulgar terms like "creampie eating" and prefer instead to have him thinking of it as a respectful act of cleaning my yoni. I also make him understand that he is not "eating his cum" but consuming the juices of our lovemaking. After all, my yoni is not a cum dispenser but the very object of his adoration.

The other day I did something I very rarely do. I let my husband have a full orgasm and did not make him clean it up. I noticed a very different behavior in him as he took much longer to get back to his normal obedient self.  I allowed his his little "vacation" but on the second day, I was ready for his return and soon he was back to his normal routine.

If you have not already introduced your man to this new post orgasm responsibility, you can ease him into it slowly. Soon he will consider it a normal act. One idea is to have him "finish" your orgasm with his mouth, after he reached his own. Have him start by just licking your clitoris. After a few times, you can move him down in the heat of the act.


Use of trigger words
Sometimes, he needs a little time off, but when you want to bring him back, make sure he understands he is returning. If you have followed the Gentle Seductress method of male obedience training, you know that partial hypnotic suggestion is part of the program. This means that your use of trigger words like "my good boy" have a way to reach into him and bring him back. I would not use these right away, but after a while, a few well placed words will have him eating out of your hands again.



Comments
So, leave some comments and let me know if cleanup is part of your training program. For the male readers, I would especially like to know how you felt the first time you did this and how it makes you feel now.

Cheers



Sunday, June 16, 2013

Fathers day




I am republishing this:

Fathers day is a special day for our family. We have children and so the day is spent appreciating daddy and all the wonderful things he does for us. Now, I think it is important to never treat him as a submissive in front of the children, but I go out of my way on his special day to treat him like a king. This is not only for his sake but the kids.

However, life is all about balance and so I know that after the kids are asleep, my real present to him is the correction that will bring him back where he belongs. As you know, the  thing I think is most effective in this correction is making him eat his cum. So this father's day I plan on a present.



First, I will lay him on his back and give him his "happy fathers day present",  I climb on top and ride him until he bursts. I climb off him and sit on his chest and try to hold in as much as I can.

I don't just push right onto his face. I consider my yoni special and so I don't want him to dislike kissing her. Therefore, I sit on his chest and let him look at her for a while. I let him see how beautiful she is all covered, almost like this is the way she should be. I also start to fondle him and get him ready. Gentle at first, I ask him to just lick the clitoris as I continue to fondle him. As he gets more aroused, I push it all down on his face. With his tongs deep inside, I release all of his cum I have been holding back.




I lean down to whisper;

"Happy Father's day!!!"

Friday, June 10, 2011

Training your husband




Many people outside the community look at training as slave training. This is a very unfortunate mistake. Your submissive husband is not only willing, but it is usually his need that starts the DS relationship. Training is really about refocusing his sexual desires from his own pleasure to yours. It is not to make him less, but instead more. The goal of training is to guide his inner desire from his own pleasure to yours.

The Gentle Seductress method of training requires that he make an act of complete submission to you. I take this vow very seriously and it involves a ceremony with him at my feet. However, it is extreemly important that he is willing, even eager, to make this pledge and that he knows it is serious. After the cerimony, I begin the real training, gently molding him to my designs. I do not take him in on a whim, but prepare him until he is completely ready.

This is how I learned to train a man to get him ready for the commitment. This is just an example, obviously, it will be different for every man:

Surprisingly enough, I start by sitting him down, kneel between him legs and give him a blowjob. I love the irony of starting him off his journey to submission on the most dominant position a man can ever be in. It is important to be able to take him completly into my mouth. I get him very aroused and he instinctively puts his hand on my head. I remove his hand and tell him that I don't need his help to get his little peepee into my mouth. My goal is to get him to ask me if his penis is large enough. When he does, I stand up between his legs and put my hand on his chin lifting up to meet my eyes. I tell him that his size is not important, all I care about is if he really desires to please me. Running my thumb over his lips, I ask "you do want to please me, right?".

The next several times we make love, I will make comments about how much potential he has or how much I could train him.When he asks about training, I let him know that it would be for keeps and he is not ready. Soon he is begging me to take him in and is almost ready.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The evolution of man


From time to time I am asked whether a woman can be truly happy with a submissive husband. I think this is a misguided question since it presumes that a submissive man is somehow inferior. I think if you really learn to appreciate the submissive male, you we see he is really a more evolved and superior male.


Man goes through many changes in his lifetime. As a young boy, he tries to conquer his environment. Once he conquers one thing, he moves onto the next challenge, competing with each other. At puberty, his body if flooded with hormones, he discovers that his penis can give him great pleasure and his world is changed forever. For most men, the initial intensity of these hormones is overwhelming. This is why almost all young men masturbate, they simply cannot stop. At this time, his world revolves around his penis.

There are a few ways that men generally deal with this. For many men the desire fades with age and they go back to competing with one another. Of those that the desire remains strong, some loose the battle and end up overcome by the waves, masturbating all their lives of cheating with every woman they can find.





For some men however, the waves remain strong but they do not drown. Instead, they master the waves and learn to surf. they learn to focus the desire not on their own pleasure but on their partners. Of course, they need your help in aiming that focus and this often manifests itself in submissive behavior. The submissive has the bull by the horns and his need for "training" is his instinctive need to have you direct the energy. This is why the dominant/submissive relationship is so much more powerful.


So, the next time you have a man kneeling at your feet and willing to submit to you, remember you have a diamond in the rough. Take control and train him to bring that awesome energy to bear. You will both be much happier.




Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A rose by any other name

English is a wonderful language, but it can be lacking in it's elegance with names. This is especially true regarding a extremely important part of the female anatomy.  It is amazing that there is just no good name for such an important and powerful thing as the vagina.  The name vagina is so clinical and most of the other names are curse words.  Consider that, a curse word to describe the object that brings life into the world, whose very site captivates man and whose taste can entrance  him.

Other cultures have different names, but my favorite is the word Tantra uses, Yoni. Names are very important, they convey great meaning and call up emotions. Picture in your mind a "horseless carriage", an automobile, a motor vehicle, and a car. Each of these are the same thing, but are very different in how we see them.

Yoni is the Sanskrit word for vagina, but it is a sacred word, it is "the divine passage". The word covers a range of meanings, including: place of birth, source, origin, spring, fountain, place of rest, repository, receptacle, seat, abode, home, lair, nest, stable. In Hinduism, the yoni is the source of all that exists, the female counterpart without whom the male aspect remains impotent and void.


As you know, your yoni is a important source of power you have over your submissive male. This is why we should encourage the use of affectionate pet names but also respectful names like yoni. Teach it to your male, but make sure he gives this name the respect it deserves.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Gentle method and spanking

You may be wondering if the gentle method I use involves spanking; and it does indeed. There are two very different ways that I spank.
First, is part of a fantasy session. As I mentioned in a previous post, I like to mix it up and sometimes do fantasy sessions. Roleplaying is fun and a great way to mix things up.





Some of those fantasies may involve spanking. Fantasy spankings are mostly erotic never hard and not about a real problem, at least not a serious one. that however is not what this article is about.

Real spanking
The second way I spank is to correct a serious problem. I do not like to spank and usually do not find it necessary, at least not anymore. However, for many couples setting out on a wife-led-marriage, there comes a time when authority must be enforced. While I prefer to seduce my husband into the behavior I desire, there were times when a spanking is called for. Spanking needs to be hard enough to deter the bad behavior and to reenforce the threat of spanking. In this way, the threat of spanking becomes a much more effective tool and the need to spank becomes much less.

Most behavior can be trained by making your husband want to please you. Teaching him to take out the garbage or put the toilet seat down are effectively addressed with teasing or a quick fondle, as a suggestion or to let him know he pleased you by doing it. The need to spank addresses a sincere breakdown in his acknowledging your authority in a significant way. If he forgets to put it down, address is with hypnotic teasing as I talked about in a previous post. If he tells you to put it down yourself, and is not even half joking, I would consider a reminding of who is in charge, swiftly.

Even a hero husband needs correction
The gentle method is all about not reaching this point, but there comes a time when push really does come to shove and when he pushes you too far he needs to know you will shove him over for a good spanking.



There are few different ways a man (or anyone) can react to a spanking. The first I like to call the rock. He will lay across you lap and take whatever you dish out. They are physically easy to spank because they do not move, but it is hard to gauge how effective the spanking is.

The second tend to jump around, they wiggle and are hard to spank across your lap. I call these the gazelle because their butts jump around like a gazelle being chased. Unless you are actually larger then these men, you may find it hard to spank him across your lap. My husband falls into this category and I found it quite effective to have him lean over something while I stood behind and spanked him. In my case, since I spank hard when needed, I bound him. We have a massage table which I have him lean over. I tie his hands around the table and tie his legs to the table legs.

Before I begin to spank him I make sure to explain why I am going to spank him. He will of course promise to fix the behavior and I say that I believe him and that I am sure I will not have to spank him again for this. I spank him until his jumping and yelling begin to give way to a more serious compliance and he begins to cry.


The after spank is very important. I untie him, let him curl up next to me and cry. I may talk to him about his behavior, but only in a positive and comforting way. Things like "you are so good and now that you promise to fix this one thing, you please me so much!!" be comforting and gentle. I consider a spanking a complete cleansing from the bad behavior and as such, I always follow it with a fondling and allow him to express his new found devotion down between my legs. In vanilla marriages they call it makeup sex and it is the sweetest and most loving sex there is.

Spanking when done correctly not only avoids the bad behavior but avoids the need to spank in the future.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Great tools for helping your husband be more obedient

We all know that there are times when our sub-hubby is just more receptive to being trained and some times when it just is work for us not to loose ground. Here are some tips that work wonders for us to keep his ears perked up and not only ready for our commands, but actively looking for ways to please. Many of these tips may be basic to many of my readers, but if you benefit from just one tip, it is worth the read.

Teasing and orgasm control
A man is much more obedient when he is wanting to orgasm then after. The lull after an orgasm can be severe in many men and can last for days or even weeks (yuk!!). There are ways to shorten this time which I will cover later, but the easy fix is to reduce the orgasms (his, not yours of course). But it is not enough to just not let climax, a man can go a long time before the desire builds up enough for our purposes. That is where teasing comes in.  Giving him a lot of sexual attention without letting him climax is a sure fire way to get him on track. Practice your blowjob skills or lay in bed and fondle him. Believe me, you will have his attention. In fact, while you do that, talk to him about plans you have. Tell him where his training is going or just how you want to remodel the bedroom. What ever the subject, he will be "all ears".

Don't make the mistake of just getting horny once and thinking he is good to go for a few days. Spend the time teasing and he will grow  in leaps and bounds in his training. Every time he gets excited but does not climax is like 3-4 days in chastity without the worries about him needing an orgasm.

Chastity device
A chastity device is a device that prevents the male penis from becoming fully erect. There are many designs that can be worn full time or part time, but for our purposes, we are talking about a device worn during sex. It is a proven fact that if a man gets sexual attention and his penis is unable to become erect, he becomes more compliant and eager to please. He needn't wear the device 24/7, though that would be good, if he wears it while home, you will get the desired results. Make sure to tell him how sexy it looks and fondle him often.  It usually makes me so horny seeing him like that that he is often between my legs. Let me tell you, you will an eager tongue waiting to please you, not to mention the massages and housework. Yummy!!


Orgasm release
Don't let the caption fool you, he
should have a full orgasm once is a while.
It is a great rewards and will keep him happy and positive.
All good things come to an end and you can't keep hubby locked up forever. There comes a time, whether it is once a week, once a month or even a few months, but hubby needs to cum. Not only because his plumbing requires it, but because you need to keep his hope up so he remains positive and happy. However, all is not lost. I am a big fan of turning negatives into positives and there is a way to do just that with his orgasm.  There is a way he can orgasm and still not loose ground with his training. In fact, using this tip and the next, he can actually gain ground with his orgasm. I am talking  about ruining his orgasm. A ruined orgasm is where you stop or have him stop just as he starts to cum. His body will continue to climax but he will remain unfulfilled.  As many of you know, I am not a cruel owner, but I absolutely love doing this to my dear husband. My favorite is to be on top riding him and pull off just at the right moment. The timing can be tricky but like catching a wave, when it is just right, the ride is worth the effort. I love to watch his face as he starts to climax but then is unable.  It is like a bird taking flight only to realize that he is still tethered, straining against the tether but knowing it is futile. The best part is that he is still horny and ready for more. It is not painful or uncomfortable for him in any way. In fact, he sometimes asks for a "mini-orgasm", not instead of a full one of course, but instead of nothing.

Clean up
Another great way to reduce downtime with an orgasm is to get him used to licking it up. I consider this a must to proper training. In fact, I make him lick my hands clean at the end of ever tease session. This is a great way to close a session because it enables him to acknowledge the session is over when he starts. I used to have a hard time ending a session and stopping the begging. Now, I present my hand to his mouth and he gets a minute or two of cool down (I let him rub my leg while he licks). Problem solved.

When he does orgasm he licks it up. I found it difficult to get him to do it when I started with full orgasms, but  after a ruined orgasm, he is still excited and more then willing. Once he got used to it he started to clean the full orgasms without much fuss. Especially since they are usually inside of me.  I would recommend you introduce this by ruining his orgasm with him on top. Make him pull out and dribble his juice on your mound then go down and service your needs.

I make him lick every drop that come out of him. After all, it is incredibly good for him. Infact, I think it makes him more pleasant. It certainly makes him recover quicker in his training from a full orgasm and when used with a ruined orgasm is actually a net gain while providing a needed release.

Mix it up
This is important. it is important to keep him on his toes and to that end, it is good to change things up.  Sometimes after a tease and we say goodnight, I will roll over and spoon him, fondling him and whisper "You know this is mine to do what I want with, right?".  One time I even let him come right then, but mostly I give him one last goodnight touch.

Initiating sex when he not expecting it is important as is changing from your "normal".  As you know, I am not into leather and heavy bondage. I prefer to be the queen of my castle and not the mean mistress. However, sometimes I will greet him home from work dressed to the nines in black leather maybe with a wig and ready for a much different training session. Definitely not my normal preference, but change can be a good thing.