Orgasm control is an important part of your man's training in a female led relationship. When he truly wants a release but is not allowed, a part of him surrenders to your authority more and more. This only occurs however when there is increased sexual tension without it resulting in his orgasm. That is why I consider teasing and denial an important part of male obedience training. Of course, when you want it, a tease session can always end up with him performing oral service. There is something special about guiding his lips to the right spot with him knowing it means no orgasm (for him of course ;-O ). Sometimes you can hear a sigh as his lips touch yours and he knows he has no hope of an orgasm.It is not advisable however to keep him denied forever and an occasional "release" is sometimes needed for medical and/or emotional reasons. When you allow your man an orgasm, there is some part of him that also feels he is being released from your control. This is alright since being free gives him the chance to return and willingly come back "home" to your loving guidance. This allows him the time to understand just how much he needs your leadership. However, we don't want him to wander too far or for too long.
For a wife practicing male obedience training, you may feel that he is less obedient after orgasm. However, there are some methods to help shorten that window between when you "release" him and when he is back under your wing.
Cleanup
The other day I did something I very rarely do. I let my husband have a full orgasm and did not make him clean it up. I noticed a very different behavior in him as he took much longer to get back to his normal obedient self. I allowed his his little "vacation" but on the second day, I was ready for his return and soon he was back to his normal routine.
If you have not already introduced your man to this new post orgasm responsibility, you can ease him into it slowly. Soon he will consider it a normal act. One idea is to have him "finish" your orgasm with his mouth, after he reached his own. Have him start by just licking your clitoris. After a few times, you can move him down in the heat of the act.
Use of trigger wordsSometimes, he needs a little time off, but when you want to bring him back, make sure he understands he is returning. If you have followed the Gentle Seductress method of male obedience training, you know that partial hypnotic suggestion is part of the program. This means that your use of trigger words like "my good boy" have a way to reach into him and bring him back. I would not use these right away, but after a while, a few well placed words will have him eating out of your hands again.
Comments
So, leave some comments and let me know if cleanup is part of your training program. For the male readers, I would especially like to know how you felt the first time you did this and how it makes you feel now.
Cheers
Mistress Jen
ReplyDeleteI was kind of grossed out at first but as I settle in it was more of a turn on as My mistress squirmed with pleasure
Nordicman
Hi I am SUE PREEDY from London I got a love spell done on my fiance actually he left me after one year of engagement I was shocked when he told me he does not love me any more he is going to marry with another girl it was very difficult to believe because we were in love from last 5 years he was the guy who never thought to live without me for a second he used to give thousands of phone calls in a day and he was saying to me he does not love me any more, it was a worse news for my family because I gave a very good treat to my friends and raletive on my engagement and we put engagement ring to each other in front of hundreds of people now if he didn't marry me so it was shame for me in my society so I decided that I will get him back any how, than I found Dr.Trust on Internet I told him my problem he told me not to worry I will fetch him back to you he said that he will come himself and will beg me.he gave me 48 hours time and of course it happened before 48 hours he come back to me and said he is sorry for what he did to me,that he is ready to marry me. we get married and we are happy now as husband and wife. really Dr.Trust is a Miracle Man. contact him for your own help ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com call me +2348156885231
DeleteNothing gross about tasting the juice of you lovemaking. I can tell you though, that feeling when my husbands tongue first slides inside me is one of the most sensual experiences I know. My physical pleasure mixed with a feeling of his total submission to me.
ReplyDeletecant agree more!..for a stable l/t rel, a lot depends on the "nurturing" skill of the F in the FLR!!...i was very lucky and blessed to have spent almost a year being tuned in by a superb guide!...who was just out of a harassing marriage and a divorce ordeal...i was free, needed my squarish outlook on sexuality exploded and she just needed uninhibited playtime!.. we both agreed no strings..Once she sensed her total hold (she was a graceful witty 30s beauty, i was mid-fifties)..she ran the play at her pace, under her guidance n on her terms...i grew to cherish every single moment, however unusual every first time (n there were lots of them, for me n for her too she acknowledged!!)...by deft seduction and word games she'd casually reel out any turn-on, but i suppose it was on design..she'd leave me reeling for hours or days before casually passing to the act, imposing or inducing the new play dimension, and, if appropriate, ritualising it!!..great site!! have safe fun...
DeleteMistress Jen,
ReplyDeleteyour method of relating a sober approach to WLM/FLR is far better then I am able to.
I do feel there is courtship biology at work. It makes men enjoy doing things for the woman in their lives. It is really, a win-win situation.
The man gets to enjoy the elation while in "courtship" mode and the woman has a dutiful partner.
The recourse is both parties accepting this is best and for the woman to become the decision maker.
This is no small change for her and I have found it takes time for women to become accustom to love making centering on the achieving of their pleasure with the man's secondary.
Sadly, in my case the use of a chastity device has been proven necessary. That is not always the case, but for me it is. I am thankful my wife locks me. It is a sort of gift she gives to me as when I am kept chaste, I am more content in subservience to her authority.
Sincerely,
-SH
I'm a believer in male orgasm control in a female-led relationship--for many reasons that most of us have already been exposed to and read about. I think it probably should be considered a keystone of any FLR. The degree to which tease and denial is included I suppose is up to the individuals.
ReplyDeleteThe benefit of T&D is that it serves as a reminder to the male that his partner has not forgotten about his chastity or his genetically driven desire to achieve an orgasm.
And although GoddessV and I do not currently use one, I rather think a chastity device has to be one of the "go-to tools of the trade." I once read that if women knew how often men masturbate and consequently how it serves to dull passion and desire for them, every husband would find himself under lock and key.
Mistress Jen,
ReplyDeleteThe first two sentences of your blog post are so true. It has been said many times, but if most women knew what taking control of their male's orgasms could do for their relationship, most every man would be wearing a chastity device of some kind. I posted about this on another blog, but many years ago, my spouse was using orgasm denial to help facilitate me losing weight. When we were making love, I lost control and had an unauthorized release in her. She was very upset, raised up on her elbows, and said, "you get down there and lick every bit of it out of there". It was a very hard thing to do right after a full blown orgasm, but thinking back on it later, it was one of the hottest things.
But it would be great that Miss Jenna let us to know what exactly thinks and feels in every moment with every technical or trayning she practices; I would like very much to understand as most as possible this incredible woman... and I'm sorry about my bad level os english but really I'm spanish (from near Barcelona, like Paul Gassol).... but it's not my foult !!!
ReplyDeleteMiss Jen,
ReplyDeleteJust happened upon your blog. I enjoyed reading your most recent posts and will follow you as you post in the future. As to your question, I was not happy when I first had to consume my ejaculate but now that i am denied for much longer periods of time, I actually miss it. I know that is what my Mistress requires and I now willingly consume everytime I am permitted an orgasm.
Great blog. I love your insight. I will be a regular visitor.
ReplyDeleteWe're 8 months in to our FLR, and we don't do this. My wife is not at all kinky, and not at all likely to visit a website where an idea like this would be introduced. So the idea of me licking up our love juices is something I am sure she has never considered.
ReplyDeleteI've thought about suggesting to her that it would be a good punishment for times I cum w/o her permission. But to make it a punishment goes against the spirit of what you are suggesting in this article, which I think is a better way.
Still, without topping from the bottom, I have my doubts this can be introduced.
antwerp (from SMTR)
Good post. I wish I could 'snap' out of my post orgasmic blues and I have suggested to me Domme that she 'make' me clean her up. It's a big fantasy of mine, but she thinks it's gross and won't seem to allow it. Once I've climaxed, it does seem really gross to me, though. I really would need her to actively require that I do so, which at the moment doesn't seem in the cards.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSeparation makes the heart grow fonder. 8)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMiss Jenna, I am indebted to you! After only stumbling across your blog today, I keenly tried some of the techniques as described. The "ruined orgasm" is a stroke of sheer genius! He was literally begging to please me more, such was his arousal level.
ReplyDeleteI have an added bonus of sorts, in having a hysterectomy two weeks ago, penetration is not recommended for another four weeks. Denial of my yoni has lead to the discovery of many more ways he can pleasure me. I have told him of my plans for him once I have recuperated and he happily is agreeing to everything, he is so longing to enjoy it again.
I feel empowered and in control, not only in the bedroom but in other aspects of the relationship.
Thank you!!
Marie, Australia
I just had an appointment with a urologists last week because my wife has said that I will not be allowed to cum at all in 2014. She only allows me an orgasm in my panties 3 or 4 times a year. The urologist stated that long term denial is in no way harmful, the sperm and seminal fluid dissipate and is released in the body over time. It was a bit difficult to talk about but it needed to be brought up.
ReplyDeleteMiss Jenna, thank you for the insights you are providing in this blog. I am new to the lifestyle and have to admit, that much of what you write, while unpleasant as it plays out, is true of managing male behavior. I wish I could be more attentive to my wife and have an orgasm every hour but the truth is, when I want sex, I am much more affectionate with her. As she delays my gratification, I become even more attentive.
ReplyDeleteWhere have you gone? I have not posted to your blog but enjoy reading it. I suppose without feed back it makes little sense to write. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI hope you choose to continue writing Jenna. I like your down to earth approach and would like to read more. Might be something I could one day share with my wife.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to let the whole word know how this powerful spell caster saved my marriage. Everything was going down the drain as my husband can not stop cheating on me with other women. It became used to always heating on me. I tried to make him stop, but I couldn’t help the situation, the more I tried, the harder it becomes. At times we will fight and go apart for some months and we will come back again just because of our kids. One day a friend told me about this spell caster who helped her too, his name is Dr.Ekpikus, she said he uses white magic spells to solve spiritual problems. I decided to give it a try, I contacted him and he told me it will take just 2 to 3 days and I will see great changes in my husband. He actually cast a spell, believe me after 2 to 3 days of the spell, my husband was confessing different names of woman he has slept with. He begged for forgiveness and never to try it again. From that day till now, my mind is at rest. My husband dislike every other women on earth except me. And am so happy to have him for myself alone. The spell caster’s contact is Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com **or call him +2347055029151. You can contact him for any help, he is very powerful and kind
ReplyDeleteMasturbation before sex is considered one of the best cure for premature ejaculation. The male should masturbate at least one hour before sex in order to reduce sensitivity during sex. This is also a great way to reduce sexual appetite to help the man last longer during sex.
ReplyDeleteLAST LONGER IN BED
Thank you for such tasteful and insightful blog. I am happy to have found this as my fiancé and I begin to explore our flr. Your blog is different than a lot of others on this topic. I enjoy reading your posts as I explore what this means to me. Keep it up! :)
ReplyDeleteI have been trying to get my wife to use orgasm denial for almost a year now. She has not been that receptive, but i'll keep trying. As for, cleaning up, i will have to try that, not sure how she will react, but it sure sounds like a hot idea, and a good way to submit to her. Thank you for your posts
ReplyDeleteYour man card is hereby revoked. I mean really?
DeleteMiss Jenna I just discovered your blog, & want very much to respond to this post.
ReplyDeleteSometime back woman taught me that women are spiritually superior & naturally dominant, & that it is men's place to serve, please & obey them.
ReplyDeleteShe led me into submission by linking my sexual desire with pain ~ e.g., squeezing, pinching or banging my testicles, or using her cat-whip & cane while having me masturbate. This was designed to break my conditioning & train me to accept ~ & then to crave ~ her dominance & leadership. It was so effective that even writing these words makes my heart beat faster, my breathing ragged, & my “manhood" hard.
She also used tease & denial, inflaming my desire to white-hot intensity for days or weeks at a time before allowing my release ~ often in ways that were humiliating (e.g., in front of other women).
She also used trigger words. She taught me "humiliation" meant earth-like & was the only way to "soften" my ego & make it pliable. T & D resulted in my increased "devotion" and intensified my eagerness to serve and please her. As a man, my submission and service were my "highest spiritual purpose" in life, & she was "cultivating" me so she could plant the seeds of happiness in submission and service ~ not just to her, but to all women and the supremacy of womanhood generally.
When she finally allowed me to touch her intimately, she said I was learning to be the "perfect instrument" of her will by attending to her pleasure "unselfishly" without thought of reward or release for myself.
As you say, the intensity and focus of my devotion did lessen after release. The weakness of my submission disgusted me, & I would become irritated with her. She corrected this in two ways. The first was encouraging me to think of my submission as "noble strength" instead of weakness. The second was to lead me into deeper submission. She arranged to have another man work with us. She made me kneel naked where she could see me, & made me watch as she let him make love to her. I thought he was going to be a permanent fixture, & that i would never be allowed her favors again.
Then she deepened the pain & humiliation by having me clean her afterward, licking away (and swallowing) his cum. It took a long time to get over my disgust & understand that I was giving her pleasure. When I did begin to realize this, she encouraged me to make her pleasure my "guiding star".
After accepting that, she made me demonstrate my obedience ~ first by licking, sucking & swallowing the man's cum, then by taking him in my throat without gagging, & finally by letting him penetrate me anally (she later continued “opening me” this way with a dildo or strap-on to “keep me receptive").
As a deeply heterosexual male, all this was the hardest thing I've ever done ~ except for one thing...cleaning up after myself. The idea was utterly repulsive for a long time.
We eventually went separate ways, & I have often ached to feel that depth of fulfillment in submission on a regular basis again. There doesn't seem to be any way to undo what she opened in me, & the fact is I still believe that she was right: that women are truly are spiritually superior and naturally dominant, that a man's highest spiritual purpose is submission and service to women, and that this really is the natural order of the universe.
Now the idea of "cleaning up" after myself is no longer repugnant, & I'm happiest when I nourish a woman's sense of her own wholeness, her power and authority, and her joy in making and using me as the “perfect instrument” of her pleasure and will.
Thank you so much Miss Jenna for posting this beautiful affirmation...& for you patience in reading this long response if you come across it.
Orgasm denial is essential for the man of today and for his female partner who must keep him under control. Denial of the orgasm does that to a man and ensures strong erections and focus on obedience for the male in training. It is not easy for a man to be denied longer then 15 days, but it is essential he be pushed to longer and longer denial periods. Ideally, today's male should only cum once every 3 months, and if it is inside his female partner, he should be made to "clean up". Tease & denial training to excite the penis without release and teach continence is good for your man's development. But even more important to helping him achieve long-term denial is the requirement of daily oral service to the female genitals, discipline to his buttocks, and administration of strap-on to him anally. These help a man forget his frustrations, focusing him on pleasuring, enduring for and submitting to his female. MS
ReplyDeleteWhy is this an ideal, how does it benefit the females normal sexual desires? How does it benefit the relationship? How does it promote self-confidence, self-respect or mutual love. I see chastity as an excellent short term & periodic tool, a great training and disciplinary tool. However I know if my female partner required such prolonged orgasm denial I would question her fidelity and would be gone in a heartbeat. AJF
ReplyDeleteHaving been married for over 15 years, my wife and I are on the journey into female-led marriage. It evolved from her being in sexual control and spread to other aspects of our marriage.
ReplyDeleteRelative to her sexual desire: From the time we began to get serious while dating, my wife made it clear that her sexual satisfaction was not my "responsibility". She made it very clear and before we went further she wanted me to acknowledge my agreement that she would always reserve the right to seek sexual pleasure and sastifaction as she saw fit to do so, even finding satisfaction in the arms of other men. However, she also did not think she wanted me have other women. I understood where she was coming from, and having experience in non-monogamous relationships in the past, I agreed to her desires. So her satisfaction is not an issue. She is in total control of our sex life, even to the point of controlling my masturbation and I could not be happier. I would never go back to the days of sex-on-demand ever again.
Being an alpha male in business, I need a strong woman in my life to balance the stress of always being in control, coming home to my wife and being under her power is such a sweet and centering experience. We used to have much friction centered on power and control. Some arguments were horridly acrimonious. But since has been assuming an increasingly powerful role in our marriage there is much more harmony, peace, love and joy.
The self-control involved in serving my wife's desires above my own has instilled more self-confidence and self-respect and has spilled over in all aspects of my personal, social, and business life.
The sexual denial and control aspect also reinforces self-control. As an initial test, I was made to go for five months without sexual intercourse or masturbation. Now I am allowed intercourse only very rarely and masturbation on occasion under her supervision. Ejaculation inside her is strictly limited to only four times per year. We maintain her modesty and I am allowed to see her nude only when we make love or when she wants sexual pleasure, either oral or manual stimulation to assist her masturbation.
My wife has come to insist that I respect her body and ask her permission to touch her intimately, in other words to caress or fondle her breasts, buttocks, or between her legs.
The end result is that all my sexual attention is devoted exclusively to her. I always have the hots for her. Sex with her or even touching my wife intimately is like my first time being with a woman. No, even better! Breathtaking! Imagine this: my wife is the only woman I fantasize about having sex with? How cool is that?
While this lifestyle may not be for everyone it certainly works for us and apparently for an increasing number of couples who have shed convention and taken the wonderful journey into female-led relationships.
Hi I am SUE PREEDY from London I got a love spell done on my fiance actually he left me after one year of engagement I was shocked when he told me he does not love me any more he is going to marry with another girl it was very difficult to believe because we were in love from last 5 years he was the guy who never thought to live without me for a second he used to give thousands of phone calls in a day and he was saying to me he does not love me any more, it was a worse news for my family because I gave a very good treat to my friends and raletive on my engagement and we put engagement ring to each other in front of hundreds of people now if he didn't marry me so it was shame for me in my society so I decided that I will get him back any how, than I found Dr.Trust on Internet I told him my problem he told me not to worry I will fetch him back to you he said that he will come himself and will beg me.he gave me 48 hours time and of course it happened before 48 hours he come back to me and said he is sorry for what he did to me,that he is ready to marry me. we get married and we are happy now as husband and wife. really Dr.Trust is a Miracle Man. contact him for your own help ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com call me +2348156885231
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion is that the male full orgasm orgasm harmful to female centric relationship. The abolition of male full orgasm helps man to really begin to enjoy FLR lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteLong term denial and ruined orgasm at the end is the best for excellent male behavior.
I agree. Plus, having him cleanup after a ruined orgasm is much easier then after a full release
ReplyDeleteThe denial of the male orgasm is such a powerful issue. I have found that I yearn for it continually, I ache for it from my loins and find myself yearning for it daily. I have a Jailbird chastity device made by Mature Metal and keep myself locked in it and love it. Doing it solo really is empty and I dream of finding a woman who will take total control over me; keeping me in long term orgasm tease and denial, making me hers for all time.
ReplyDeleteIf you are a dominant woman please contact me at: fonebone4u@yahoo.com and claim me for yourself. Lets make this a beautiful reality for both of us.
I LOVE the idea and theory of the FLR! Getting my partner to agree or even try to get on board with this however is more problematic... Please help with thoughts, ideas and or ways to help him see this in a more palatable way. I have soon many questions!!!!!!! I hope its not too late to seek advice on this post- The Naturally Dominant Pretty lady
ReplyDeleteSooo many questions!!!* Sorry, Im so excited I'm making spelling and or grammatical errors
ReplyDeleteSo for all the women, you clearly don't respect men who let you do this to them....right? In that case, very quickly you won't want to be with him...you will want to be with the confident guy at wor...right. These guys end up cuckold and son they are raising another guy's kid or holding her hair while she blows another dude. Frankly, anymore"man" like this s hereby ordered to turn in his man card. For the guys, let me guess....raised by a single mommy? Doing everything s woman wants is the quickest way to lose her.if she lives with you and you pay the bills, but she only fucks other guys...sorry fellas....she is no longer your wife or otherwise. Just because she stays and says she loves you....who wouldn't. How many guys would leave a wife who followed our every direction and let us bang around. Please. You guys need to grow a pair. You don't need these psycho women
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree with you. I hav been married for many years and I love and respect my husband more now than ever. Did you even read my blog? It is a strong man who is able to devote himself so completely and evolve beyond the narrow patriarchal view of a relationship. The fact is that this is a growing desire in men as society evolves.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteGreat to see you here writing about my favourite subject:What would we day dream about if our lives were nothing but fantasy?
I really enjoyed this piece, – thanks so much for articulating fantasy v. reality in such a sweet, engaging way. A pleasure to read! Drop by at - Best Squirt Web Cams Online for the
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This blog is incredibly insightful and I'd love to know if the location of the Gentle Seductress method of male obedience training can still be found somewhere online. I can't seem to find it.
ReplyDelete